Which is Worse: Going to the Dentist or the Financial Planner?
I visited the dentist last week. Obviously, very few among us look forward to a dental appointment. In my case, I was especially nervous. With the pandemic, it had been a minute since my last visit. As my name was called and I began the trek back to the dreaded chair, I could feel my heart rate and blood pressure rising. This fact was confirmed moments later by the diagnostic cufflink.
The next day, a funny little statistic came to my attention: nearly half of Americans between the ages of 40 and 59 would rather visit the dentist than make an appointment with a financial advisor. Of course, there are countless reasons this could be the case ranging from distrust of the financial services industry (highly justified, in my humble opinion) to a natural fear of sharing sensitive or personal information.
After accepting that approximately half of the population doesn't want to see me (and the ‘ouch’ experienced by my ego), I thought back to my experience just the day prior. The staff and dental professionals had been lovely and kind, everyone involved in the process was there to help, and this was something I knew I needed to do for my health and wellbeing. And yet, I was nervous to be there.
For many, the anticipated experience of meeting with a financial advisor is, understandably, worse than what is described above. But what if meeting with a financial planner didn't have to feel like going to the dentist (no offense, dear dentists; you are caring, thoughtful people who do amazing work!)? What if, instead, talking about your present and future could be energizing and even empowering?
You see, the best financial planning is not about which loan to pay off first or creating a cash flow statement. Rather, real financial planning helps you to envision a life that you are excited to lead and takes action to make that vision a reality (what’s not to like about that?). Of course, the guidance will focus on investing, tax planning, estate planning, employee benefits analysis, managing restricted stock units (RSUs) / stock options / other equity compensation, and so on. However, the real topic is always you and where you’re trying to go.
With that in mind, below are a few realizations that often surprise folks during our introductory conversations:
Talking through your finances can be surprisingly cathartic,
People are rarely making as many mistakes as they think
The conversation is about more than numbers; it's about you
Let's dive more deeply into each of these points.
#1 – Talking through your finances can be surprisingly cathartic
Yes, I’m actually suggesting that discussing your finances can make you feel better and even be enjoyable. I know this to be true because I’ve had the honor of being part of those conversations many times throughout my career. In my experience, many folks are living with a nagging fear they’re missing something, that they’re not doing something they should be with their finances. Come to think of it, the feeling is very similar to my wondering whether I had any cavities leading up to the dentist appointment. Regardless of whether the news was good or bad, however, not knowing may be the worst part.
On a similar note, the clients I help are pretty darn smart. This leads me to point #2…
#2 – People are rarely making as many mistakes as they think
We all know money is intensely personal. To illustrate, imagine sitting in a conversation with a group of friends when one participant suddenly asks the group: “How much do each of you make?” I would venture to guess that you had an immediate aversion upon just reading that question.
What we do with our money is based on deeply held values and beliefs, our upbringing, our wants and desires, and our worries. Furthermore, it reflects our unique decision-making process. The notion of sharing our financial circumstances with a so-called expert…that doesn’t sound very comfortable. No wonder so many would rather see the dentist’s drill than a CFP®!
And yet, my experience with real-world clients has been quite to the contrary. So often during the initial stages of our work together, I’m given the opportunity to shed light on the wonderful things they have already accomplished and choices they’ve made along the way. New clients often find that they’re doing many more things right than they realized.
You may be asking, ‘If clients are in such solid shape, why are they working with a financial planner?’ The answers vary but are quite straightforward:
Life is busy and they’re looking to delegate,
Things are getting more complicated, and their finances are starting to feel like a lot to manage alone,
The old ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’ worry is on the forefront of their minds,
They want a guide to partner with and ensure this crucial aspect of their lives is done right.
#3 – The conversation is about more than numbers; it's about you
As the dentist was checking my teeth, she rattled off a slew of technical jargon to the hygienist for notetaking. Those words, allegedly in English, went entirely over my head. My job as the patient is not to learn the difference between an incisor and a bicuspid. Rather, it is my dentist’s job to articulate matters of health with information I can 1) understand and 2) use to make wise decisions. Similarly, it’s not my clients’ responsibility to understand the implications of the foreign tax credit when evaluating which type of investment account should own international securities. In this respect, the dentist’s and my job are the same, albeit mine on matters of money.
The concept of ‘it’s about you’ goes a step further than just addressing your finances, however. The reality is simple: you are the expert in you! While a financial planner may be an expert in helping you make smart financial decisions that achieve your goals, you know yourself best. You know your vision for the future, understand what makes you feel comfortable, and are the best judge of the tradeoffs that life entails. The financial planner, when performing their role well, elicits that innate knowledge and expertise in helping you get where you want to go.
Final Thoughts
While I can’t decide for you whether visiting the dentist or the planner is worse, I – for one – am excited to see my clients. And my clients know it. Talking with clients about their lives, helping them build on what they’ve already accomplished, and making them feel better about their financial circumstances in the process are a great joy to me and why I became a financial planner in the first place.
And for those of you reading to the end: no cavities. ⭐